Guide On the Serious Side of Me

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Sporting a black and white dress, Bollywood actress Genelia D'Souza was at her cheerful best when she was in the City recently to launch a.
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It's part of the fabric of everyday conversation.

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And more, many folks today see such behavior as "business as usual", as "no big deal. In fact, when I asked some of these folks if they were aware of what they said, most responded, "No. For many of these folks, their behavior is a true "blind spot. If you have a reputation for being witty or sharp because you are a master of sarcasm, how does that make you feel? Would you ever ask the objects of your sarcasm how they feel? What does sarcasm get you, personally? Do you think others really respect you, or just go along to get along, when they respond in a laughing sense to you behavior?

Are you demeaning and sarcastic to your husband, wife, partner, children? How do they like that behavior? Do you ever ask them? Would you? If not, why not? Did you ever tell a colleague or friend to stop using you as a target for their destructive words? Did you ever want to but not speak up?

The serious side of put-down humor

Who would you be if sarcasm were not part of your personality? Would you lose some or much of your identity? So, let's return to the question, "Why? In my experience in the realm of psychology and psychodynamics, we understand most folks engage in put-downs, sarcasm and barbs as a way to look smart, witty and cool.

A Serious Side of Fun

That's the upside for them. The downside is that the person for whom the comment is directed is often harmed, hurt, demeaned, or otherwise made the point of ridicule.

When I ask other group participants — the bystanders - why they often react with laughter, or "atta boy" comments, they generally say they don't know, they just do. The truth is many react this way in the "go along to get along" fashion because they don't want to stand out as different, serious, politically correct, etc.

They want and need to be "one of the boys". So speaking out, or pushing back against such comments and behaviour, will only serve to get them ostracized. So, they laugh or jump into the banter. It's like a verbal gang rape. The deal is, no matter how sharp one is, how educated, how senior in the hierarchy one is, how wealthy one is, no one has the right to strive to look witty, sharp or cool at the expense of another human being, at the expense of being disrespectful to another human being.

Welcome to the Magical world of M.E.

And, for those who have a need to do so, the underlying question is, "Why? What does it get you?

The Serious Side of Ralph Malph

Does it make any difference that you might be hurting someone else? Peter G. Vajda, Ph. Rahab the harlot, woman caught in adultery, doubting Thomas. If you are at all familiar with the Bible these names may sound familiar.

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It dawned on me that just because a Deb had her van in the driveway because she just had to determine that the bolt I brought over was indeed the one for the bike rack. Her next door neighbor came over to see if she needed help. Walking through the grief process with a dear friend who recently was widowed has given me a tiny glimpse of the What if: every time I felt like gossiping about someone I took a moment to pray for that person instead?

What if: my first thoughts each morning and my last thoughts each evening were ones of gratefulness?

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What if: I I rode my bike past a very beautiful, large house today. I frequently ride by this house and am always in admiration of the nicely tended yard and landscaping. The general appearance.

It is an older home. Not fancy or