Forgiving Others and Trusting God . . . A Handbook for Survivors of Child Abuse Experience Healing f

Verbal Abuse: Healing the Hidden Wound. Surviving the Angel of Death: The Story of a Mengele Twin in Auschwitz. MacArthur, John F. Forgiveness: The Freedom and Power of Forgiveness. A Handbook for Survivors of Child Abuse.
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For many participants, a meaningful Spiritual Connection allowed them to begin a Spiritual Journey that was associated with healing. Not all participants who had made a Spiritual Connection described a Spiritual Journey; those who did were those who had a particularly powerful connection to a divine being or robust ties to a spiritual community.

The Spiritual Journey could involve three paths: Some participants followed primarily one path, whereas others followed more than one. Many participants described being accompanied, protected, shielded, healed, and unburdened by a divine being. Whatever I go through, You [are] right there with me going through it. If you talk to God about it, and in a sense give it to him, give him that problem, it takes a lot, and it did, it takes a lot from you to lift, like a weight been lifted off your shoulders.

He took that from me, I mean, before I did that I cried about it a lot. Being sustained was also a crucial path for a participant without traditional religious beliefs:. Another path of the Spiritual Journey is being awakened. Participants described experiencing new ways of thinking, seeing the truth, or coming to view events from a divine perspective. A man who had survived child-hood sexual abuse, physical and emotional abuse by his mother, drug addiction, and three rapes while in prison, shared an experience of being awakened:.

You know I have a little hope today that you know if I stand up for myself then I can get better. Being tested was also a path of the Spiritual Journey. Participants referred to experiencing trials, tests, and tribulations from God and growing stronger as a result of these challenges. A man who had been sexually assaulted as an adult offered a poignant reflection on being tested:. I look at it like this, God tests us, you know. For a few participants, a Spiritual Journey resulted in the third dimension of Being Delivered, which is labeled as Spiritual Transformation. This type of change was described by some participants who came to view their violence in a spiritually meaningful way and who experienced a profound sense of divine intervention in their lives as a result of the violence.

Spiritual Transformation was experienced as lasting and permeating. Those participants who described a Spiritual Transformation had Spiritual Journeys that were particularly intense and life-changing.

Healing the Tragic Scars of Abuse - Richard G. Scott

For the most part, those who did not experience a Spiritual Transformations had had their Spiritual Journeys interrupted by ongoing abuse or other life challenges. As Being Delivered is a progressive and life-long process, many participants may have the potential to experience a Spiritual Transformation, but had not yet done so. Spiritual Transformation is manifested in two ways: Some participants described coming to believe that the sexual violence they experienced, while traumatic, had served an important purpose in their lives.

Because the meaning they attributed to the violence changed in a significant way, this process is labeled as transformative meaning. Transformative meaning has two elements that are referred to as redemptive revival and inspiration. Many expressed that their redemption came from God. A year-old woman who had experienced a lifetime of sexual violence described an experience of redemptive revival:. It was a healing process. Participants described having a deep urge, desire, or hope to do something, especially something creative, with the sacred gifts they had received as a result of the violence.

Participants had used several outlets for their inspiration, such as involvement in music ministry, volunteer work, and group Bible study. Some participants who experienced Spiritual Transformation did so through what they considered to be a supernatural experience. Several referred to positive life experiences as miracles given by God. For many survivors of sexual violence, spirituality is an integral aspect of the healing process.

The theoretical framework depicted in Figure 1 reflects a complex psychosocial process in which the survivors of sexual violence experience Being Delivered by a divine being. Having a strong spiritual connection creates for survivors the possibility of being supported and guided in their struggles, obtaining new insights that aid in their recovery, and acquiring strength as a result of passing spiritual challenges. For some, these experiences result in profound spiritual changes as survivors come to attribute spiritual meaning to their violence and experience divine interventions that change the course of their lives.

Many aspects of the theoretical framework are consistent with other research on spirituality and sexual violence.

Healing = Courage + Action + Grace

Our finding that the process of Being Delivered contributes to healing is consistent with the results of a systematic review conducted by Shaw and colleagues that revealed religion and spirituality are usually beneficial to trauma recovery including sexual violence , and that experiencing trauma can lead to a deepening of religion and spirituality. Several dimensions of the framework resonate with constructs investigated in prior studies.

Support for the three Spiritual Journeys is also found in the literature. These women also reported making sense of the violence by coming to believe that their violence and abuse served as a test provided by God through which they could become stronger; this experience was consistent with the path of being tested. There are several limitations to the data. Ethnic groups of Hispanic, Asian, and Middle Eastern origin were not well-represented in the sample, and therefore the influence of a variety of ethnic influences on spiritual healing could not be explored.

Most notably, the sample did not include a diversity of religious faiths; most participants identified Christianity as their religion. While the experiences of Spiritual Connection, Spiritual Journey, and Spiritual Transformation may be shared by those of different faiths, this would need to be studied. In addition, the study is a retrospective study in which participants reported on spiritual experiences that may have happened many years ago, and the data therefore may suffer from recall biases.

Based on the findings of this study, several areas of future research are suggested. This study was based on a group of participants who experienced a wide range of sexual violence experiences, from ongoing and persistent episodes of childhood sexual abuse to one-time experiences of sexual assault in adulthood.

Walk in the Light: A Pastoral Response to Child Sexual Abuse, 1995

More work needs to done to understand the relationships among the extent and type of sexual violence experienced and spiritual healing. Other potential influences on spiritual healing, including the relationship between the victim and the perpetrator, the age and gender of the victim at the time of the assault, and other coping variables also warrant further investigation.

This findings of this study have implications for clinical practice. The theoretical framework of Being Delivered can be used by clinicians to guide discussions of spirituality and healing with survivors. The findings indicate that spirituality in survivors is expressed as a multi-dimensional and dynamic process.

If a survivor wishes to explore how their spirituality might aid in healing, the model can help identify where in the process of Being Delivered they consider themselves to be and open up the possibility of future spiritual growth. Clinicians should appreciate that the process of Being Delivered will be unique for each survivor and each survivor may be at a different stage in the process. The model, however, represents common experiences shared by our sample, and these experiences can serve as a springboard to address the role of spirituality in healing among other survivors.

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Part II: Dimensions of Child Sexual Abuse

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April 1992 General Conference

Author manuscript; available in PMC Aug Draucker , PhD RN. The publisher's final edited version of this article is available at Issues Ment Health Nurs. See other articles in PMC that cite the published article. Abstract A theoretical framework explaining how survivors of sexual violence use spirituality to respond to or recover from sexual violence is presented. The Theoretical Framework A theoretical framework explaining how survivors use spirituality in response to sexual violence is depicted in Figure 1. Open in a separate window.

Spiritual Connection The first dimension in the framework is labeled Spiritual Connection. Spiritual Journey For many participants, a meaningful Spiritual Connection allowed them to begin a Spiritual Journey that was associated with healing. Being sustained was also a crucial path for a participant without traditional religious beliefs: A man who had survived child-hood sexual abuse, physical and emotional abuse by his mother, drug addiction, and three rapes while in prison, shared an experience of being awakened: A man who had been sexually assaulted as an adult offered a poignant reflection on being tested: Spiritual Transformation For a few participants, a Spiritual Journey resulted in the third dimension of Being Delivered, which is labeled as Spiritual Transformation.

A year-old woman who had experienced a lifetime of sexual violence described an experience of redemptive revival: Footnotes Full terms and conditions of use: A spiritual framework in incest survivors treatment. Journal of Child Sexual Abusex. The long-term effects of child sexual abuse by female perpetrators: A qualitative study of male and female victims. Journal of Interpersonal Violence. Rural Mexican-American and non-Hispanic white women: Effects of abuse on self-concept. Journal of Cultural Diversity. Learning the harsh realities of life: Sexual violence, disillusionment, and meaning.

Health Care for Women International. Healing of adult male survivors of childhood sexual abuse. Image—the Journal of Nursing Scholarship. Western Journal of Nursing Research. Rather, we need to stand with the survivor, to show the same gentle, loving, patient concern that Jesus showed to those who were hurting.

Forgiveness is not forgetting, nor does forgiveness consist in excusing the abuse or in absolving the abuser, which only God can do. We again stress that the abuse is not the survivor's fault, but we realize that some survivors struggle with having done things that were perhaps painful and destructive but which were a means of coping with the abuse.

We encourage survivors to be gentle with themselves in letting go of inappropriate self-blame for the abuse. For the Abuser In regard to abusers, we must remember that justice plays a role in the forgiveness process. Imitating Christ, the Christian community reaches out to the abuser while clearly holding him or her accountable. Some in the Christian community may believe that, in releasing the abuser from his or her suffering, they are being charitable and Christlike.

In order to be healed, however, the abuser must recognize the harm done. We emphasize that the community, including the family, needs to call the abuser to accountability. We need to say: We will stand by you as you suffer the consequences of your behavior, but we expect you to acknowledge the harm done and to ask for forgiveness. Responding In the Gospels we see that Jesus healed in different ways. He offered physical healing as well as a deeper, spiritual healing. His words, spoken in truth and love, also brought healing, even when they made his listeners uncomfortable.

He responded to those who sought healing for themselves, as well as those who interceded for others. Like Jesus, the Church reaches out to offer healing and reconciliation to people who seem to be without hope.

BEING DELIVERED: SPIRITUALITY IN SURVIVORS OF SEXUAL VIOLENCE

We do not minimize the complicated nature of sexual abuse or the task involved in prevention, intervention, and support of people seeking to surmount the past. We believe, however, that parishes can play a crucial role in this process through the liturgy and sacraments, education, and support of empathetic and knowledgeable parishioners.

A survivor attests to this, writing that she found God revealed in the liturgies of her parish community. I knew that Jesus, like me, experienced all of the same brutal pain I was experiencing. I knew this Jesus the church elevated during the Eucharist was indeed a human Jesus. As a community of Christians we have the means to shatter the walls of loneliness, shame, and fear that isolate those who are sexually abused and those who have survived abuse.

They need us, and we need to hear their stories of pain, endurance, and courage. We also need to let abusers know that while we hold them accountable for their behavior, they can be forgiven. Some practical suggestions for developing simple action plans at the local level: For parishes many of these suggestions can be adapted for use by dioceses Create an atmosphere of welcome, trust, and safety in your parish that encourages people to come forward: Establish a procedure to respond when someone approaches a staff member about sexual abuse.

Have available a list of referral agencies and resources to give to people who request help. Become familiar with state reporting requirements as well as diocesan policies concerning sexual abuse. Develop a network of people with expertise in dealing with sexual abuse. Regularly publish a contact's name and phone number in your Sunday bulletin. Mention of sexual abuse within a homily, when appropriate, lets people know that the preacher is aware of the issue.

This sometimes opens the door for people to seek assistance. Many abused persons and abusers turn to their parishes to find healing and reconciliation. Abused persons need justice and compassion; abusers need accountability, repentance, and support. A prayer service or special liturgical ceremony can help people as they set out on renewed lives.

Develop programs to teach people about sexual abuse issues. For children, programs should discuss appropriate and inappropriate behavior and include suggestions on where to go if they think they are being abused. Programs for parents should help them to talk with their children about their bodies and the right to privacy, as well as about personal safety and self-protective strategies.

Raise the questions of violence and the roles of men and women within the family as part of marriage preparation. Delicately introduce questions about how each prospective spouse was treated growing up, how their parents treated each other, and how they expect to act toward their spouse and their children. Promote the use of language in parish programs and materials that reflects the equal dignity of women.


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Share information and resources with other parishes and dioceses that are also trying to address sexual abuse issues. For those who are, or have been, sexually abused and their families Look on your parish as a source of support, strength, and assistance. In particular, locate one adult within the parish with whom you can talk about your experiences.

Realize that you are not alone; many others, men and women, have also experienced abuse. If possible, find a parish or community support group for those who have been abused. Such groups can help survivors of sexual abuse learn how to find healing and courage to build a new, hope-filled life. Reaching out to others can help the healing process. A Word to Children Although we have not addressed this statement to children, our hearts go out to them. Perhaps an adult in their lives who truly cares for them could share the following words with them: Dear children, when Jesus walked on the earth he loved little children.

Our Holy Father has said "How important children are in the eyes of Jesus! He understood when they were hurting. Like Jesus, we care when you hurt, especially when a grown-up has caused your hurt. We know that you are God's very special gift. God loves you, and we love you. You are our hope for the future. Conclusion In this statement we have spoken out against the tragedy of child sexual abuse.

We have described this abuse and its effects on children and adults. Our statement has emphasized the need for healing and forgiveness, as well as the need to hold the abuser accountable, and has offered some practical suggestions for dealing with sexual abuse. In offering this statement we acknowledge our moral responsibility to put children first, to protect the most vulnerable members of our society. We know that sexual abuse raises many more issues—moral, legal, psychological, and others—that are not discussed here.

They need to be addressed with understanding, compassion, and justice. We hope that communities of faith, accepting their moral obligation to children, will formulate their own responses. We would like to hear from them to learn how they are dealing with survivors, abusers, their families, and their friends. Notes Fact sheet No. According to the Fifty-State Survey of Child Abuse and Neglect , an aggregation of state data collected by the National Committee for the Prevention of Child Abuse, in about 15 percent of all substantiated cases of child abuse and neglect concerned sexual abuse, representing approximately , children.

According to David Finkelhor, Ph. Considerable evidence exists to show that at least 20 percent of American women and 5 to 10 percent of American men experienced some form of sexual abuse as children. The David and Lucile Packard Foundation, , pp. See also Restoring Trust: A Pastoral Response to Sexual Abuse , vol. National Committee for the Prevention of Child Abuse, Child Rape Victims , , brief by the U.

For an extended discussion of some of these characteristics, as well as an analysis of recidivism, see Judith V. Characteristics and Treatments," in The Future of Children, pp. Project Benjamin Handbook , Archdiocese of Milwaukee, , p. The Center has many resources available, including curricula on child sexual abuse prevention and videos on child abuse. A Study for Teenagers.

Suggested videos include Hear Their Cries: The Committee has pulled together important resources, including diocesan policies on child sexual abuse, treatment centers, and reports by experts in the field. On a related topic: When I Call for Help: This pamphlet provides information and concrete suggestions for women who are abused, their abusers, and parishes and dioceses which seek to address the problem. This minute, discussion-starter video shows how preaching can help break the cycle of domestic violence.

It features experts in the field of domestic violence, priests who have preached about it, and women who have experienced it. Religious Perspectives on Domestic Violence is an award-winning video featuring the stories of six formerly battered women.


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Walk in the Light: It was prepared in the Secretariat for Family, Laity, Women and Youth under the supervision of the above committees. Publication was approved by the Administrative Committee in September The statement is further authorized for publication by the undersigned. No part of the New American Bible may be reproduced in any form without permission in writing from the copyright owner. No part of this work may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright holder.