Freedom from Abuse: Finding Yourself Again

Freedom from Abuse is helping to empower abused girls and takes them, step-by -step, clear of the realm of sufferer into the sunshine of.
Table of contents

Very few people knew. I became pregnant during my abuse and chose to not go through with it. That was the most pain ive ever felt in my heart. I had little money and felt trapped. I knew I would be safe. I still have nightmares. A few months after I was ready to give up.. He listened and treated me with respect. We talked for hours every day. I cannot thank him enough for his patience, encouragement and love. While he and my family are great support, I feel the need sometimes to have a therapist or counselor. The images are just so vivid in my head. I am so glad to hear that you are well and were able to safely end the abusive relationship.

It takes a lot of strength to be able to leave an abusive relationship, and even more strength to move forward, as you have done. Moving forward is not easy, and it is a process of time and healing. You also mentioned the desire to seek counseling to address some of the things you may still be going through after the abusive relationship.

I want you to know that counseling support, along with other services are available for you and we can help you find those services in your area. If you are able to, please give us a call at our hotline at We are completely confidential and anonymous and have advocates here ready to support and help you.


  1. Write To Be Published.
  2. Bold Bride.
  3. Principles and Methods for Accelerated Catalyst Design and Testing: Proceedings of the NATO Advanced?
  4. Stupid Laws of Minnesota: Funny Laws in MN From the Past and Present.
  5. American Auto Trail-Louisianas U.S. Highway 61;
  6. 2. Seeking approval.
  7. Diggers Bones.

We are looking forward to hearing from you. Again it is so nice to hear that you found safety, support and love. I just wanted to say that I can relate to your story in so many ways. I was married to my ex husband he was abusive emotionally physically verbally and sexually. I remember praying to God and telling him to please help me out of this situation and that someday I would find someone who would treat me better.

Freedom From Abuse: Finding Yourself Again book

That following week my ex and I got I to a fight. From there it escalated and he threatened to throw me out of the car while driving. With 2 screaming toddlers In the back seat When we got home he beat me pretty bad so I knew I had to leave. I made my escape with my boys. I have my own apartment and a good job.

He understands which is awesome. I wish I could just trust my self to trust him becuz this guy is not my ex he never will be. Why is this so scary. Wow, thank you for sharing your story. You have so much strength and courage to be able to leave and start over. Being abused by someone that you love and trust is the greatest betrayal and traumatic.

It may sound corny, but being kind and patient with yourself helps. Six months is not a long time and you have done so much. That is a huge accomplishment! I understand that you want to feel safe. If you would like to speak to an advocate, you can call I was in a very emotional n abusive relationship this man wanted me one day than was unsure the next. We could b having a good day together and he could still ruien it with his infidelity issues.

We fought most and the abuse came out whenever I would catch him lying or cheating. His guilt would spark rage. After years of trying and breaking up and going back it became worse i feared for my life to a point i was not happy i was finally becoming tired. Well cps became involved and removed me n my son and i must say it was a blessing in disguise.

I had to start taking counciling, parenting classes, and domestic violence classes. I was finally on the path to freedom. He still continued to look for me at his convince.

It was not easy it was like i was addicted to him like he was my own dose of heroin I needed to feel n get high off of him. But i was grieving and it was okay to feel that way. I became strong with eachday that passed.

The Compassion Cure

I stoped dating and focused on myself and my son. One day i went out with some coworkers and this handsome guy greats me with a nice hello And we continue to talk and i enjoyed the rest of my evening with him. I was still struggling with my demons and was jyst not quite ready but this man showed me nothing but patience and heart. I distant myself for a few weeks until we ran into eachother again and this time i took him up on that date. It was the best decision i ever made. He has showen me a love like nun other and so very kind and respectable. We are now Looking for a home together and looking forward to a wonderful future together.

I am so happy to have been able to find a love like this I never thought it was real i thought i was going to b alone. But im free nolonger afraid and im in love with someone who loves me back.

Life and Love After Abuse: Amanda's Story | The National Domestic Violence Hotline

Thank you so much for sharing your experience with our blog community! This story is an excellent example of resilience and how difficult it can be to bounce back after an abusive relationship. I wish nothing but joy to you, your son and your new partner!

1. Numbness

Thank you for sharing your story! I left my abuser 6 months ago and having a hard time believing my life can go on. This story really encouraged me. Thank you so much sharing with our blog community.

mindbodygreen

It sounds like you have taken some really HUGE steps and I am fine you can find encouragement from these posts. Know that there is no timeline with these complicated situations. That is why we, the National Domestic Violence Hotline, is always available to talk this through. Feel free to give us a call at Please feel free to add your comments, but be aware that this blog is a public space. Your email address is required to comment but will not be public or shared. We reserve the right to remove comments that do not abide by our community guidelines.

Computer use can be monitored and is impossible to completely clear. Skip to content Life and Love After Abuse: Helpful Books to Check Out. Your Stories of Life After Abuse. Comment section 19 replies. Sarah, Thank you for voicing your survivor story to our blog readers. Kat, Thank you so much for sharing with our blog community.

Nini, Thank you for reaching out to our blog community. Mantras are little reminders, like tokens, talismans, or good luck charms made of language. When you're struggling with self-doubt or disappointment, many people find solace in chanting a self-improvement mantra to comfort and calm. Prayers, aphorisms, and song lyrics are all great mantras. It doesn't need to be more complicated than, "I'm good enough. Focusing on one thing and repeating the words is usually enough to help many people calm down and find an inner peace for a few moments.

Even if you chant, "Hey, ho, rock and roll, deliver me from nowhere" it can work. Seek counseling if necessary. Professional abuse counseling can help you process the whirlwind of emotions produced by your tumultuous relationship. Talking with friends is helpful, but it's important to have someone who is completely non-biased. Someone who has no emotional ties to you or your abuser. Many areas have abuse counseling or shelters available at little or no charge. Reach out when you're feeling low. Seek support groups for people who shared your situation. Again, you need to talk to people who've been when you've been and who understand, to help you rebuild who you are.

Make friends within these groups, and go out doing things you enjoy. It's also important to spend time just socializing normally. Try to move on as much as possible. Be patient with yourself. Abusers chip away at their victims' self-respect and self-image. It will take time to repair and rebuild the damage from the abuse, so be gentle with yourself, and don't expect it to happen all at once. It might be necessary to take some time off from work and other responsibilities to get a clear head. Move through the process at your own speed. Rediscover your favorite things.

One by one, explore activities and interests that your abuser shut down by telling you that you were no good at them. Chances are, those are exactly the things that you shine in, the things that make you feel good about yourself. Even personal choices like what to eat, or how to arrange your clothes, are things you can indulge yourself in, and appreciate having them without fear or conflict.

How were you held back by your abuser? Was your desire for more responsibility at work mocked? Do you want to go back to school? Are you interested in a career change? Explore the possibilities and dreams that were shut down as a result of your relationship. Start moving forward with your life by setting manageable goals for yourself to improve in some area, and meeting those goals regularly. Whether career, health, or happiness goals, it's important to keep focused on satisfying yourself and living your own life.

Set yourself a major and a minor goal, and then replace them with new ones when you satisfy each. A major goal might be saving enough money to go on a big vacation you've always wanted to go on, while a minor goal might be exercising three times each week, or reading a new novel each week. When you satisfy your improvement goal, set a new one and keep up with the old one.

Gradually improve yourself and find new purpose. Make sure your goals are realistic. A good goal is something that you can actually measure and accomplish, not something abstract like, "My goal is to be happy" or "My goal is to be better. Start replacing your toxic memories of the past with joyful new memories and new experiences.

Make your old abusive relationship seem distant by spending lots of time with new people, visiting new places, and never looking back except to heal. Avoid locations, neighborhoods, and businesses that you used to frequent, even if you live in the same town as your abuser. Find new grocery stories, restaurants, and places to hang out. Start dating again, when you're ready. This can take a long time for many people to feel comfortable enough in their own skin to trust another, so take your time and wait until you find someone worth it.

Abusers can drag down your confidence and ruin your ability to control your own life. No one else is in charge of your life but you. You don't have anything to prove to anyone but yourself. You don't have to live to satisfy anyone but yourself.

You are here

Listen to your heart and take joy in making your own decisions. I still love my abusive husband and I want to help him to change. What can I do? If you're going to stay with him, make it contingent on him seeking help for his issues, i. ALL of these things. But be aware that many abusers will never change.

Not Helpful 0 Helpful 1. It's been more than a year since my relationship with my abuser ended. I've sought help and I'm in a much better place and practicing good habits, but I still feel haunted sometimes. To be honest, you will probably always be haunted by this to some extent. That being said, a year is not a very long time. Most likely things will get easier for you as time passes.

You're doing exactly what you need to do to keep yourself well and healthy, so keep it up. Not Helpful 0 Helpful 0. Include your email address to get a message when this question is answered. Already answered Not a question Bad question Other. Tips You may feel angry at yourself for being tricked into the abusive relationship and ultimately trapped - learn to forgive yourself. You owe it to yourself! Recovering from abuse is a painful process.

It cannot be rushed, nor should it be minimized. Healing is worth the work, and there is a whole world waiting for you! Warnings Take any threats that your abuser makes seriously. The most dangerous time of an abusive relationship is at the end. Do not hesitate to call the police, if necessary, and always have a back-up plan ready to implement. If necessary, file a restraining order against your abuser. The police encourage you to request a 'civil standby' in order to retrieve your belongings when you move out. This is particularly helpful in any abusive situation but alleging abuse is not necessary to request this kind of police escort.

Often the presence of a police officer prevents any confrontation and the officer is there to protect you. To request this simply call any police department and ask. Former Relationships Domestic Violence In other languages: Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read , times. Did this article help you?

Cookies make wikiHow better. By continuing to use our site, you agree to our cookie policy. I've tried a lot of things and nothing seemed to be working. This article is helping me take baby steps into being okay and liking myself again.

10 Steps to Getting Your Life Back After Narcissistic Abuse

I've already noticed some progress and it's only been a week. At the same time, most of this stuff is not do-able with a small child. I can't sleep in, I can't take time to enjoy the things I used to love. Also, what do you do when you are still madly in love with your abuser? So many other things to take into consideration. SR Samantha Rich Mar 30,