The Modern Dads Dilemma: How to Stay Connected with Your Kids in a Rapidly Changing World

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• Kids - The Modern Dad's Dilemma - National Library Board Singapore - OverDrive
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Search Search Search Browse menu. How can dads put this practice to work in their relationships with their kids? This in no way should replace daily family rituals like sharing meals, walking to school, doing shared activities, reading together, etc. Rather, this is a special , once per month, one-on-one time with dad.

Women have carved out broader roles for themselves and their daughters. How can dads help their sons become men in the fullest sense? I say to dads: Specifically, how you behave in relationships at home becomes a blueprint for her to follow, for better and for worse. Dads also need to talk to boys from a young age about fatherhood — what is a daddy? Are you going to be a daddy some day?

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Not only will this help boys to identify those same qualities in themselves — caring, nurturing, strong, etc. From almost the very start, girls play mommy, but boys…? They play mommy until getting teased for it. Modern dads have a great opportunity today to show both boys and girls what being a real dad is all about. What is important for modern dads with daughters to know? Girls—both our own daughters and daughters everywhere—also benefit when we dads and moms challenge destructive gender stereotypes and beliefs. We can respectfully intervene and suggest healthier alternatives to these situations.

You recommend that dads have regular heart-to-heart chats with their children.

Early on in my work with dads, I knew that to have an ongoing heart-to-heart with their children, dads needed a tangible, practical, and structured guide. What started as an idea with a few questions on a slide for dads to use at home, the ongoing heart-to-heart has been developed into a tool — which has become the basis of my Dialogues with Dad program — called the Modern Dads Relationship Checkup. Practically, the Relationship Checkup is a series of questions designed and sequenced to initiate and encourage ongoing dialogue between dads and children.

There are two versions of the Relationship Checkup. Version one is for children aged five to ten, and version two is for children aged eleven and above. Tell me about your work with dads in schools? Your work in general? While there is more societal permission for men to push strollers or change diapers at a professional football stadium, dads still seem to need an invitation to be more involved at school.

Change is afoot, but slow. Plenty of single working moms, and increasingly more single dads, have managed to stay involved in schools while keeping up with the demands of a job.

In terms of children without dads in their lives, I encourage schools to think of building a community of dads and mentor dads. We know from research that when fathers are more involved in the school community beyond just attending sporting events — volunteering at the school, attending class, grade and whole school level events, showing up for parent-teacher conferences and getting involved in the parent-teacher organization — children have been shown to get better grades, go further with their education and actually enjoy school more.

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Who are the dads you interviewed in your book? How did you select them? I collected the stories in this book by interviewing dads and dad-figures from a diversity of backgrounds across the country. They have sons and daughters, from infancy to adult children. Divorced, married, single, stay-at-home, co-habitating.

Most of the men I had met at my workshops and lectures, some were referred to me by friends and colleagues, and others just seemed to appear. While the stories in this book range across racial and ethnic backgrounds, socioeconomic statuses, sexual orientation, religion, geography, and age, what holds them all together is this: Fostering independence, maturity, and helping your teenager prepare for college life.

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