Hand in Hand - Recovery and Miracles-Companion to Side by Side the Twelve Steps and A Course in Mria

Hand in Hand - Recovery & Miracles: Companion Book to Side by Side the Twelve. +. Powerful Spirituality: The 12 Steps Plus A Course In Miracles. Total price.
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What did you read as blame-shifting? Understanding where current maladaptive behaviors were learned in earlier experiences does not blame anyone. Done well it yields understanding and more compassionate perspectives. How do you implement these steps if there is a restraining order and the spouse that filed is not willing to communicate?

To me, that article seems t advocate that the problems were solely on Maria's side of the table. That ted "dis nothing wrong", and was entitled to file for dovorce. How woudl teh writer have instructed Maria to act if Ted already had started an exist affair? If he has one-sidedly decided the marriage is unsalvageable, that he was allowed to be loved "better" by someone else? This is a situation where it looked initially to TEd that the problems were all from Maria. There was some validity in that a trauma in her youth played a major role, it turned out, in the growing chasm between them.

As they became better at talking openly and collaboratively with each other about how they had grown apart, toward the goal of each of them seeking to better understand their part of what happened, both could see mistakes they had made. Both could see how to handle things differently from that point forward. To their credit, who was "more" at fault or had brought more problems to the table became irrelevant.

Diederik Wolsak, Founder of Choose Again: 6 Steps to Freedom

Even when one partner has become involved in an affair, many marriages are salvagable. The unsalvagables are generally only if the person having the affair has become too attached to the affair partner and is unwilling to let go of him or her. Far better for couples having marriage difficulties to address and resolve their problems, getting professional help if necessary, rather than to succomb to impulses to turn outside of the marriage to love and be loved. Thank you for replying to my comment, Ms Heitler. But somehow I still feel that the article had no compassion for the Maria, who may not even have known Ted harbored any thought of divorce.

I especially gasped at the part about telling Maria "to look her best". Who is just told that Ted has checked out of the marriage? One cannot salvage a marriage by themselves, nor when there are 3 or even more people involved. It takes two committed people. But by cleaning up her act, and exploring her parts in their difficulties, she was definitely able to make herself a more appealing partner.

Couples often mirror one another. As Ted saw Maria's soul-searching and growing, he began to do the same. I perhaps did not make clear enough in the article that Ted had made multiple prior attempts to explain his concerns to Maria. Perhaps he could have expressed his concerns more forthrightly instead of just hinting at them; or more gently instead of critically.

In any case, instead of taking these concerns to heart and determining to look for solutions, Maria, in fright, had defended against hearing her husband's negative feedback and distanced herself with distractions such as computer activities. IN sum, as I've said in other responses, one of the keys to Maria and Ted's success is that neither of them engaged in blaming. They were interested in fixing the problem, not in fixing blame on anyone. Also, while the article by no means is intended to "glorify" filing for divorce, it does intend to convey that sometimes out of bad events come good endings.

In this case, both Maria and Ted squarely faced their desperate situation, used it for learning and growth, and emerged with the kind of loving partnership both had wanted. Once Maria realized that listening would be safer, or at least a better gamble, than trying not to her Ted's complaints, she realized that his concerns were legitimate and involved requests that she could be responsive to. At the same time, having heard and responded more positively to Ted, Maria herself began speaking up about concerns she had long smothered about some things Ted had done. He in turn listened thoughtfully.

Apparitions, miracles, healings, artifacts, etc.

Now they began to have the makings of a real marital partnership. In sum, if folks look back at what's gone wrong to accuse or blame each other, there'll be only more problems ahead. When folks look back to understand their mistakes and misunderstandings, each looking to discover his or her own ways to be a better spouse in the future, there's a potential rainbow ahead.

I heard of EFT before but never about temporal tapping. Do you have a good source you could provide us about more on the subject? Here's two excellent videos teaching this technique. Maybe I'll add them to the original post, or alternatively write another post on the topic. Thanks for this idea! We use a very simple version of these techiques. We tap just positive messages with tapping on the right ear. It seems to work fine. How much happier so many couples would be if they learned the sills for being successful in marriage before they even found a partner.

That would make them more likely to select an emotionally healthy mate as well as to be ready to handle the many challenges of marriage partnership. Obviously, this writer has not been on the receiving end. What is sad is that the leaver is not held responsible by society. I suppose we will then always to look our best, be our best, be always perfect to have the honor of keeping our perfect husbands. Chumplady's focuses on sexual infidelity, not on what was written here. No where was there mentioned an affair.

The laws have made leaving easier nowadays. Before people simply committed perjury to get out of it if they did not have sufficient grounds. If you feel the "leaver is not held responsible" by society, then feel free to lobby to change no fault divorce laws. Good luck with that. If the husband needs that perfect wife, why would you want to be married to him anyway? Chumplady has fanatical fans who scour the net taking issue with anyone they judge sympathetic to what they call the Reconciliation Industrial Complex. Counselors working with couples trying to reconcile after infidelity are called quacks who sell something called Hopium.

Appears that one of her followers found this article and assumed that infidelity was the cause of this couple's problems. Chumplady is in her mid forties and on her third husband. Obviously she hasn't identified the common denominator yet. Because when a spouse "suddenly" wants out of the marriage there is usually a third person in the picture, who only conveniently shows up months later. Faults of a partner often only become unacceptable, when another person seems to have less, or none.

No one is happy all the time, welcome to the world of imperfect people marrying imperfect partners. LIst all the complaints, criticisms and angry comments you can recall that you probably see now were about causes for the current divorce attempt. Live by these commandments and your husband will not want to scale the fence to seek greener pastures.

I really feel for Mary. This is happening way to much. I put "suddenly" in quotes because the husband had been trying to convey his concerns to his wife for several years. She was not ready to listen until the shock of his announcement that he wanted to end the marriage shattered the bubble she had surrounded herself in. To the contrary, forcing yourself to listen to what's right when a spouse expresses concerns is always difficult, and all the more so if the concerns were expressed via complaints and criticisms rather than more tactfully.

At the same time, listening is the beginning of being able to launch a change process. In this case, the husband was in fact remarkably open to hearing his wife's concerns. As she began listening more openly to her husband, she also became more confident about sharing her concerns with him. The result was a flowering of the intimacy that comes from mutual empathic understanding as well as the beginnings of change.

As to a third person being in this picture, that was not so. It is true that the longer couples go without being able to address problems that have been building up, the more vulnerable both spouses become to affairs. To this couple's credit, however, neither took this direction. A large percentage of hurt feelings are a result of miscommunication.

One person feels hurt and thinks that the best course of action is to have the other person feel the same level of hurt. The biggest communication to establish is the rules of an argument. Do not name call. Never state a sentence with the word You. Take accountability for your part and always begin sentences with I. And if each person looks to clean up their own part with regard to the habits you describe, voila, both end up with a far better marriage.

I totally associated myself with the story of Maria Me and my husband had a rough ride from the start, but I've never ever doubted that we could make it. We both have very strong personalities and there has been a lot of things that both of us had done terribly wrong in our marriage.

But I always thought our love could over come all of it. The last few months was getting better, I focused a lot on myself and my happiness and I could see how it was affecting my husband in a good way. He even told me over and over again how much he loved me and how happy he was.

Then, about a week ago he told me he filed for a divorce, that he is tired of lying to himself and pretending to be happy. I am completely shattered. He came the next day and he took all his stuff and moved out.

Bette Jean Cundiff (Author of Little Lamb's BIG BOOK)

Is there any hope left to save my marriage when he doesn't want to? I tried talking to him, I couldn't stop crying, he blames me for everything, and yes, I did make a lot of mistakes and I know I did. But so did he and I forgave him for it. He says that he did forgive me, but that he cannot trust me ever again. That he had to pretend to be someone he was not. I am in so much shock right now I want to so desperately save my marriage but we don't even see each other anymore.

Is there any hope left?? Is it even worth saving if my husband felt so tied up and hated being with me? I honestly thought things were going better, two days before he told me he filed for divorce we were dancing around playing each other love songs. I am so confused and hurt and it's really hard not to blame myself for everything. I've written a guide for this kind of situation. At the same time, sometimes it's best to accept that gone is gone and it's time to move on. I'm just shy of my 6th anniversary and my wife has felt like she wanted to leave for a long time.

I had a one time inappropriate conversation with a female I didn't know, who I met from the internet - I was very immature. She didn't believe that it only happened one time - but she loved me. Months even years later I began to have difficulty with the fact that she didn't trust me. She sought attention elsewhere. I was a wonderful dad but not the best husband. She needed my attention at home, and we weren't on the same page communication wise. We didn't understand each others languages of love. We went to counseling but at 21 we didn't extract enough from it. Now we're 25 with 3 kids.

At 23 she spoke to one man inappropriately, I was shattered and guilted her into staying with me I regret this but nevertheless I feel like things went alright. We started looking for a house just a few months ago. She had also been a stay at home mom our whole marriage almost. She started school 3 months ago, and I hate drinking but she enjoys it - she started going to bars with a friend these things have made her more happy and in her eyes given her the confidence to leave me. Ok - I'm happy for the up tick in confidence, but broken because I don't want her to leave me.

I thought that she wouldn't really leave big mistake but then I heard a voicemail from a male who said at the end "bye love you bye" I had learned that they had been talking somewhat frequently. She adamantly denied that anything out of the ordinary or inappropriate was happening between them, but she still wanted out. My first day of work was today and I couldn't help but feel wrecked.

During lunch I read your article, and it changed my entire day and how I communicated with my wife. I had been doing basically everything the opposite of what I should have been doing. At the beginning of the day she told me there was nothing left in her and this was black and white - i had no chance at saving the marriage.

She is staying with me until we are able to get out of our lease which may not be until November next year. I will update because of how much hope this article gives me where I had none. To be more clear, she's staying in the house, but separating herself from the marriage. So ending it effectively but not quite divorcing since we can't afford it at the moment.

Either way, this is a huge opportunity. You have breathed life into me and helped me to straighten my back and attack this madness. I am here to testify on how Dr Lawrence help me to bring back my ex-husband who left me 3 months ago i got his email on the internet on an article how he had help so many people,so i emailed the Dr and told my problems to him and after that day he gave me an assurance of 3days,to my greatest surprise my husband came back to me in third day of contacting him,i want to say a very big thank you to drlawrencespelltemple hotmail. For a long time I fueled my faith in Dr.

Lawrence spell by reading here so many wonderful testimonies of restored marriages. I had a happy marriage, but took it for granted and got involved with another man online. My husband was very hurt. He left me and transformed into someone I did not know. He asked for divorce many times and nothing seemed to make him reconsider restoring our relationship. Lawrence and we waited on His spell. Lawrence saved our marriage.

Now we are very much in love and are speechless with the miracle of the birth of our newborn daughter. Please, do not give up. Be kind and loving. Thank you drstanlyspelltemple gmail. My husband stopped to fill the divorce papers after i contacted you to help me stop the divorce with my husband and now things are going much better now.

As you said, all the process concerning the divorce have been cancelled and the evil woman that cause the problem in my marriage has be sent away by my husband and we are now happy together. Stanly for your help. The tender that i was waiting for was approved and he started telling me that am a good wife so I must forgive him for the bad things he had said.


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My husband asked me to look for any University of my choice and will take care of my fees. Am thanking kizzekpespells outlook. I feel very lucky and blessed that drstanleyspelltemple hotmail. My husband used to spend as much time as he could away from home with other women. Since he cast the love spell on him, My husband is now so in love with me and committed to our marriage than before. I really want to appreciate the will of dr uduga in my life, early last year i was crying but now i am happy with the help of dr uduga, am glad to share my testimony to everybody in the world cause if i keep it to myself that means am bad person, my husband drove me out of the house because of little issue we had, though i never give up, i plead and plead to him but he still insist that i should leave him alone that he don't want me anymore, so later on i heard that another girl was living with him i was confused i do not know what to do cause i really love him and we already had a child, so one day i went to see my friend Susan, i explain everything to Susan and she told me not to worry myself that she knows what to do even though 10 years broken relationship that dr uduga can reunite it again with his great power, i was shock!

This article is dedicated to Osemu Okpamen the genuine spell Doctor. I seek for help from my home doctor but he couldn't do anything towards my condition not until a friend of mine from high school directed me to Doctor Osemu Okpamen. I contacted him via his email Doctorokpamenspelltemple hotmail.

I took his words with faith and today am been cured from CANCER and my boyfriend is back to me as well all within 24 hours after i contacted him. If there's anyone out there that needs his help should get in touch with him now!!! This article is dedicated to Osemu Okpamen the genuine internet Doctor.

Books by Bette Jean Cundiff

I seek for help from my home doctor but he couldn't do anything not until a friend of mine from high school directed me to Doctor Osemu Okpamen. I contacted him through this http: I was skeptical about it but today am been cured from CANCER and my boyfriend is back to me as well all within 24 hours after i contacted him. Would you like to tell us about a lower price? If you are a seller for this product, would you like to suggest updates through seller support? Learn more about Amazon Prime. This classic in spiritual brevity, with full Spanish translation, in an insightful, yet easy to read format, compares the essence of two powerful spiritual pathways closely aligned in concepts and practices that bring love and inner purification through surrender as the key to transformation by Grace.

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