STYLING GUIDE: Hair Care For African American & Biracial Children: Multiracial Hair Care Guide for Parents to Learn the Best Products to Use and More! - Kindle Get your copy now and stop struggling with this beautiful misunderstood hair. “The Other Woman is an absorbing thriller with a great twist. . Prime Photos.
Table of contents
- FAQs: How To Manage Curly Biracial Hair (Updated )
- A Letter To White Moms With Biracial Kids
- Curly Hair Kids
- FAQs: How To Manage Curly Biracial Hair (Updated 2018)
Meaning your childhood and adolescence came and went long before the advent of the internet, blogs, and youtube. Why is on the mother? Just as little boys learn about those things from a father or male rOle model…. As for the rest of it, it comes down to simple math. Or perhaps the father is around but like most men are not super into the fine details, know less than nothing about female hair in general, and has no close ties or any ties with their biological family.
Because yes I hold a mother, a mom, in high regard. I expect her to wanna think 20 steps ahead to both prepare and protect her child from a life and experiences she can hardly imagine, since not only is life and the world hugely different nowadays, but there are just some inherent differences when the world and society looks at you and sees something about you that you cannot change, be that your skin color, hair texture, a physical disability etc.
I mean, for the record. Or just partially all the way black? And more importantly…how can I tell? Does it mean both of my parents look black? What if they just look black but are technically both biracial? Would I still qualify as all the way black? What if my dad was white, my mom was half black but I came out dark skinned but with white textured hair? All the way black yet?
What if I was 3 quarters white heritage, with light skin but a full bushy afro, but aerian features? I am white and my son in bi-racial half white and half black and he will be turning 2 this month. I love his natrule curls. In the beginning, I was washing his hair everyday, until I excepted that it was better for his hair not too. I found it at wal-mart. He has really kinky hair in the back and lose curls on the top. I tried using the thick paste like cream it was a Shea Butter product but it was too thick on his hair and made it look greasy, I tied 2 other brands but they all turned out greasy as well.
Then I tried using what I use on my hair I have frizzy thick wavy hair which is a garnia fruites anti-frizz serum and it works wonderfully! Better then any of the products that I have bought made for black hair. I have tried about every different kind of brush and sought advise from black family members about brushing his hair as well because for me this is the more difficult part, especially the back.. Some tell me to use the thicker kind of brush and brush it down and around, some tell me to use a wide tooth comb and brush it out. What I found works best is a combination of the two.
I brush his hair out in the shower when the conditioner is in his hair with a wide tooth comb to detangle, then when his hair is towel dried I put the serum on the scalp and pull it up through the curls to the end of the his hair. I know I will eventually have to get it trimmed but my point is, I am growing it out and in doing so, I am trying to learn as much as I can about it. As far as the more serious topics, I thought the girl in the video who hated her black side was very sad.
I would never want to teach my son to hate any part of himself. He should always be proud of who he is and all of his heritages. But sometimes, as much as I style and take care of his hair, it still ends of frizzy and unbalanced…. He lays on his side and rolls a toy truck across the floor, and when he gets up, his hair flattens on one side.
Or if he lays down on his back, the hair flattens in the back. Also he pulls on it, plays with it, puts applesauce in it, and in general messes it up. And if it happens to be messed up in public, I get my fair share of comments made about not knowing how to do his hair.
He is a toddler. But he is only 2. Lmao God Bless and I hope this helped someone. Yup, what works for one person, brand wise, heaviness wise, etc etc may not work for another. You can have 6 people in a family, all with relatively similar hair, and all of their hair responds completely differently to the same products. Such is the fun guessing game with black hair!
There is definitely a difference between your kids hair getting a bit messy although yeah, people still side eye that and your kids hair being off the bat messy and frizzy BECAUSE it is dry and unhealthy and rough and damaged. I can definitely see the difference between the two. Since then I have been more diligent on it and have wandered down the hair care isle…although I noticed the scalp dryness early on and at her infancy was rubbing oil into her little scalp.
But then when her hair startled curling when she was 6 or 7 months old it turned into a completely different story with her hair care, and now at 17 months it is a battle. She has super curly hair that will frizz if I let it dry out too much….. I started just using a comb but she shrieked and so I figured a brush would get it done quicker and she bawls. And she is strong, so holding onto her while she tries to wrestle away to keep from getting her hair done sometime just makes me let her spend the day leaving her hair be.
While I have been only washing her hair once a week to keep down the dryness the best I can I am still frustrated on getting her to sit still so I can do any stylization at all. I keep telling myself it will get easier as she gets older but it is hard on us. This also means the tougher, more knotted, and therefore more painful to deal with that it gets.
Oh the agony come wash day lol. And I had long hair down my back to almost my butt, and the second water hit it, it would shrink to about 3 inches long…lol. I smile now at the torture. But, to make life a bit easier, she literally did very little except twist or braid my hair into huge chunks to let it dry fully. Because the twist or braid was giving a little tension to my hair, that meant it would dry a little stretched out, and less likely to be tangled up.
Now, back to the Max Hydration Method. The reason I bring this up is because in essence MANY of the mainstream moisturizing hair products are actually moisturizing so much. This is because they contain things like paraffins and vaseline derivatives,and silicones, which basically sit on top of the hair and coat the shaft. So that means its not getting INTO the hair shaft to moisturize it. Try finding, or honestly even DIY, some more moisturizing products.
Also, do some research and see if maybe the conditioner only wash can be your new best friend. And then, in place of shampooing just condition instead.
- A Letter To White Moms With Biracial Kids – Classic Ruby: Unadulterated.
- Perceptual Organization for Artificial Vision Systems (The Springer International Series in Engineer!
- Embrace Change and Conquer Fear: How to find the job of your choice when you are over fifty;
- Wer war ich im Vorleben?: Die positive Wirkung spiritueller Rückführungen - Mit zahlreichen Fallbeis.
- Post navigation!
- Loving Our Mixed Curly Hair?
- Similar authors to follow.
And then continue as usual. Use shampoos only when necessary, like after swimming or getting REALLY dirty, otherwise once or twice a month if necessary. I went shampoo free a few months ago, and I must say the difference in my hair is outstanding. And then I use a combination of grapeseed oil, jojoba, coconut oil, and castor oil on my hair right after a wash, and once a week or so directly on my scalp as well. As a white mum of a bi-racial child who tries to bring my son up, I completely agree with this article.
FAQs: How To Manage Curly Biracial Hair (Updated )
My son now 9 had long hair up until the aged of 5 when he decided he wanted it cut off. I could only single plait for a long time but tried my best with other styles. He has since decided about a year ago to re-grow his hair. As a result that means I have an extra duty of care to insure it is well looked after and that I personally can manage it so that I can in turn teach him how to manage it as he grows and becomes more independent. He regularly flits between single plaits and cornrows. I also believe that if you choose to have a child who would be of mixed heritage then you have a duty to learn about that heritage.
This too works for the whole up bringing. I have had to learn to make these as I feel that just because we are no longer together that does not mean that my son then takes on more of my white heritage. A mother of 4 biracial children, it was hard to figure out what works best for each of my girls. All my kids are smart children and I tell them that education is first, but your appearance is something people look at. Thank you, good blog! The eldest daughter had hair that would immediately frizz when dry , was so overly stressed it was breaking off mid shaft, and ONLY had a visible curl pattern when sopping wet in the shower with the deep conditioner in.
Some extra steps and a tweak in products and now her daughters have identical corkscrew curls. This made it much easier to identify the issue when her youngest daughter, born several years later, was having hair issues. Of course after her ordeal years before she knew how to do hair investigations and quickly caught on and long before day care she had a routine that worked for her. As you know, biracial and black hair takes time and effort to style, and different styles last different lengths of time. Sometimes I have to go places unexpectedly or on too short of notice to style or wash my biracial daughters hair, so we go wherever we go and her hair might look a mess.
But I eventually took it upon myself to utilize Google to the max and find as much as I could about hair products, practices, styles, etc. My bad, but I do love and care for her and her hair! As well as educate her about her Jamaican half! All that said, I mostly liked your article and you made a lot of great points. Well Natalie, you may not realize or actually see the difference so much yourself, but for me, I can see the difference in a kids hair that is actually healthy and properly cared for, versus hair that is not. This post is pathetic. How on earth could you know the personal situation of a mother of any race by seeing her child one time out in public?
Maybe they had to run out to the store for something and the child was doing what toddlers do and refusing to get her hair done before they left. I send my biracial daughter to preschool with perfectly moisturized, perfectly parted puffs, and guess how she looks when I pick her up? Midway through the 6-hour drive she got sleepy and asked me to take them out so she could rest her head on the side of the car seat.
When we stopped for a rest stop, she had to go really bad so we rushed out of the car to the bathroom — her hair looked crazy! But she had to pee, so what was I going to do, make her wait while I did her hair? This is a sad post to me…. And by the number of comments suggesting the same, I see I am not alone when I say the tone of this post comes across as harsh and unaccepting. Of course there are some negligent parents out there…. Regardless of race, but I would bet that the majority are trying their best with what they have, what they know, and what they have to deal with day to day.
Actually, really just puffs. While an afro puff is certainly adorable, and definitely a great quick go to for most parents, are you aware of the fact that black and biracial hair textures tend not to absorb moisture readily and tend to lose it even faster? You see, I can actually, by looking at you and your kid for 30 seconds, tell exactly how healthy her hair is. Messy or not, perfect or not in that moment, i can tell if her hair is healthy and happy. By and large I talk about the basis of black hair care. You must be right. Which is a fail. And yet, despite that, you took it as a personal message against you anyway.
They half the time run out and get the fake blond white girl hair.. They run and white sarcastic posts like this blog. She just a hater of the white gals with the gorgeous half blackout child. Which is actually more worrisome if you have a biracial child.
Cause I can guarantee that if I can see it in a few sentences, your child can feel it radiating from your words throughout the day. Thank you for your blog this. I do enjoy styling her hair…I just learned how to do the zig zag design. I now love styling her hair with the zig zags. I now know not to wash her hair so many days a weeks, putting oil on her scalp. Lol, her hair is high maintenance but she is definitely worth it. Yet black children need to be held to a higher standard. Learn to love yourself and maybe you will stop bashing these kids hair!!!
As I was saying, as is VERY clearly written, stated, and then reiterated time and again, this post is a letter TO white mothers or black mothers really of biracial children. I then go on to say that black hair and white hair are different, and that you cannot treat black hair like white hair. You cannot treat biracial hair like white hair. And then I go on to explain how to properly care for non white hair, so that it is happy and healthy. I then explain a bit about protective styling, which would be a foreign concept to white people, since they never ever need to do it.
I then go on to talk about the travesty that is chemicals and fake hair in your childs head. About teaching a child that their own, natural hair is beautiful just the way it is. That if it is well cared for it is soft and manageable. I will always, and forever, encourage the best care, love, support and understanding for black women of any age, from everybody, for every aspect of who they are, what they are, and what steps need to be taken so that their natural beauty, inside and out, can shine.
I need help…my daughter is half black n half Italian so her hair is one big frizz ball. I need product advice from washing to styling products. Plse can you help me. Frustrated in New Britian…. The best thing you can do is learn about porosity, the max hydration method, conditioner only regime…. Its amazing what moisture can do.
But it does often take some experimenting to figure out exactly what will work best. There are hair charts you can check out to maybe figure out your daughters hair pattern and texture…. I, for example, am 4c, which is the kinkiest and coarsest of textures, so what will work for me would be different than someone with, say 3B hair.
There are so many biracialte people with curly hair! Some of you overplay the 1 drop rule! Its racist and it has long expired! You are now a combination of races. If you are biracial it means that you are primarily a combination of 2 races. Which then technically groups People from india and people from europe together…. I feel like I am getting off track here.
For the record, I class anybody as black who classes themselves as black. But really, I tend to class biracial people the way they class themselves, because it tends to matter more where they identify more so. Some identify with both sides, some only identify with the white, or asian or whatever side they are biracial with.
Personal and cultural identity. I feel very, very sad for you. I really do actually. Do you suggest that all biracial people have white textured hair? White textured but maybe curly hair? There are no biracial people who have black textured hair? That have hair that falls somewhere in between? That perhaps have what appears to be white hair thats straight and yet has the black porosity and scalp dryness factors? You are horribly misinformed, and I suspect you are from, or have been in contact with, some really crappy people who have you feeling a bit jaded.
In any case, I claim all of my cousins, and my sister, and they all claim me. And their half blackness. Yet, my sister is proudly Maltese and Jamaican. Someone somewhere lied to you. And then other people perpetuated the lie. They lead in pretty much every terrible statistic… proportionally the most single mothers have black baby daddies, same with the most in prison and failure to pay child support. Highlight the real crime instead of going off on an ignorant rant. Go play in traffic. This is not the place to do so. This is about MOMS of biracial children.
You should take your own advice and go play in traffic. What a terrible and racist thing to say. Could you possibly provide any direct links for those statistics? Human psychology is quite fascinating. As a white woman who has been burned by a black man, I would guess based on how patently obvious you made your motivations here, you are now feeling overwhelmed and less than adequate and are realizing that you have NO help from the side of your daughters family that would make this SO much easier.
Unfortunately for life they come in all shapes and sizes. And trust me, many MANY a woman has become a single mom by a non-black man. It is what it is. And even with long hair…. They pick up whatever the hell, slather it on, call it a day, and somehow that all turns out fantastic for them. Whether the daddy is no count or not, if you are a mother, you are NOT no count. You can only control your own actions. And if all your baby girl has in this world to rely on is you, then you can definitely find that way, make it work, and do better than his loser mama would have anyway.
To the black women who are soooo offended at what the author wrote, who cares? Her main audience was white women with mixed kids. First of all, since apparently you only skim through the words on the page, lemme just clarify something, i, the author of this article, am not white. Second of all, whoever this Felicia person is, you might wanna go and work out your anger issues in relation to her, since clearly it has clouded your judgement. Cause if so, the following reply is likely wasted on you, but here goes! Second, acknowledging that somebody ALSO fits into another racial category white, Asian, Indian, etc does not exclude them from also belonging to any other racial category in this case black.
One of which being that in general black hair is different in a large variety of ways from Caucasian hair white, Asian, Indian. Another, which may come up especially as your child ages, is that regardless of the tone of your skin, generally all shades of black skin tend to differ in many ways from other races. Other differences, such as shape of your nose or eyes, generally tend to be less relevant to the point being made in this article.
Anyway back to the point. Nor is this simply about cute styling. You would know this if you had read the article. Okay, you have a right to free speech but why single out white mothers of bi-racial kids. I am a black mother of a bi-racial daughter, with many years experience of doing black hair braids and weaves as a sideline during college. I have tried umpteen products, watched hundreds of YouTube clips to no avail.
Anyone with an ounce of intelligence will know that this is about the complexities and diversity of different hair types and the search for an appropriate hair management technique. However, the letter is addressed this way simply because black mothers, who have black hair anywhere along the spectrum, are at a definite advantage in this race.
There are just some basics that, as a black woman with non white hair, you have been born and raised to. You understood the value and use for hair oil, what protective styling was, what daily moisturizer FOR HAIR is, and so on and so forth. Now, you may not have known the differences that come along with different textures, coarseness levels or porosities….
Black hair care is this alternate reality. And it is NOT mainstream. If I adopted a white child, I could walk into the nearest drug store and have shelves lined with hair care products to try out that are optimized for white hair. Those drug stores do not have those magical aisles of black hair care. This is meant as a little jump off, a little info,a snap into reality for a subsection of the population. Do I needed to see somebody break it down and show me how to hold the hair so it stays tight. If not though, honestly it really does help to actually watch someone do it in front of you, slowly, and kinda explaining it as they go.
But that is just to understand what exactly is happening. It still takes quite a while to actually get your fingers to move in tandem to the thoughts your brain is telling it. Or on my own head. Personally, I found it easier to do narrower, shorter cornrows at first, so I had less hair to grab per move, plus i only had to keep it going for less time. So like that little style where you just cornrow the front inch or two of your hair back and then secure with an elastic or something.
My daughter is 10 years old and It is a constant battle with her hair. I am white, she is black. I live in a white neighborhood for miles around. Finding a stylist or even anyplace that carries black hair care is a joke. I have spent thousands on trying different products such as mixed chicks and Carols daughter. I only wash once a week. I use a leave in conditioner. Recently I found Shea Moisture to work great for detangling. But I noticed yesterday that her hair is completely broken off in the back!
She tends to pull her hair from the back. I need to know what products to specifically purchase. She has very thick, curly, kinky hair. The issue is complicated once a child hits puberty, because usually her hair goes through a change then, and suddenly things that were working no longer work anymore. Could her hair be under moisturized? The thing with styles is, when you do the same style over and over again, you can actually create too much tension, and pulling, in a particular area of the hair, like say the hairline or crown, and that creates epic breakage in those areas.
Combine that with very dry hair, which snaps off rather easily, and yeah, you can have that kind of breakage in a matter of days unfortunately. You may also wanna check out porosity, and see whether her hair could do with more protein, less protein etc. And check what her hair type is. Knowing her hair type might help you narrow down on general products that have worked for other people with her hair type.
As a white mom with 6 biracial children, let me say that everyone of their hair is different. My two oldest daughters that are now adults, I would always put their hair up in ponytails or braids and this was 20 years ago. My 11 year old does her own hair and she keeps it natural normally up in a bun or ponytail. I do brush her hair every day but have to fight with her. My cousin emily, who has a white textured hair but SUPER curly hair, would not allow anybody to touch it. Except when my mom came around. And she went and got the comb for my mom, and she sat there and got her hair done.
And in between times my mom would do it, nobody could come near her with the comb. Since your other children were good with hair care, could the problem possibly be that this one child happens to have a hair type and texture more prone to dryness, tangling and therefore pain? In any case no, for whatever reason, even if I had to clamp my legs around her to keep her still as she hollered and fought for her life, her hair would get cared for.
My boyfriend and I just had our second baby, a girl, a few months ago. Our first was a boy, and my boyfriend has been the primary hair-carer in the house, which I was fine with, because Rocco was the only baby we planned for. For example, you did not mention what the climate is like where you live. Harsher weather conditions are NOT the time to be leaving your daughters hair exposed to the elements.
Naturally it is already dry and already loses moisture quickly, and so during harsher winter months, protective styling should be your main go to. Sure a nice corn row is neat and lasts longer, and therefore requires less daily styling, however, a few cute little ponytails with the hair twisted and secured with a barrette will still protect her hair.
A Letter To White Moms With Biracial Kids
Using a light baby shampoo, or conditioner, when you feel she needs it should be acceptable. Likely this will not be every day. You can tell, as she gets older and her hair texture gets a bit coarser and drier, your priority will become keeping her hair moist. The best way to achieve this is by using sulphate free shampoos on occasion, but mostly doing a conditioner only wash. Generally, the best course of action would be to, at night moisturize the hair especially the ends and then to do a few twists to keep the hair protected as she sleeps.
In the morning you can release the twists and pick out her hair to restore the afro. To give actual texture, you can do a twist out. Which is actually what we call a wash and go style. Hopefully that gave you some help and ideas for the future. Feel free to contact me directly via the Contact Us tab, which will send a text directly to me! First let me state that I think this post is ignorance at its finest. I am a white mother to a biracial daughter.
I can for her hair extremely well while yes she does wear her natural style down and long I also do ponytails and pom poms or pigtails. Her is not dry or damaged by no means. I teach my daughter about both cultures. And to say that being black is not a choice you are correct however neither is being white. Like I said this post is ignorance at its finest.
You made an assumption based on the title, skimmed for some basic points to attack and then came down to the comments section all outraged. Maybe start again at the beginning and then read the beginning again? I love her curls…. I am not a hairdresser. However that strikes me as utter BS. The simple fact of the matter is MANY if not MOST people with hair in the black girl textures have hair of varying textures and patterns all over their heads. Babies grow and lose and regrow hair in this wonderful process called development.
It upsets me as well very much, to give advice and it be rejected. My children are all unique and beautiful, embrace your children, learn, learn, learn practice, practice, practice, you would NOT go out in public ladies with a ratsnest as we say, ….. You can do MORE!!! Also, just a little opinion of why….
And so, we miss the very important, and far more valid middle ground, which is that while we all bleed red and we are all human, and so functionally our brains and hearts etc etc are the same, there are many ways in which physically we are different, and those differences are beautiful and should be embraced and celebrated and understood and accepted and applauded…etc etc.
There is nothing mysterious or scary about our physical differences. We evolved differently depending on the elements we were up against. Out in the african sahara, the humans with wider flat noses, darker skin, kinky afros and stronger bottom halfs survived better.
Curly Hair Kids
Those things had advantages back during the survival of the fittest. It was not meant to 10 thousand years ago. Likewise, very fair skinned, fair haired, fair eyed people practically boil alive when you take em out of the southern hemisphere and throw em smack dab into the sahara. This was good post. The main points I took away from this was that Kinky coily textures must be handled if not differently but with more care.
Then wonder why they arnt maintaining any length, seeng growth ir just having a hard time overall. Yes they are just children, but this just makes it the best time to teach them how to care for there hair. Also with proper product use, and styling can fiND better solutions for issues such as detangling. Before I reweaved, after 7 days of sorta kinda doing the Max Hydration Method, for the first time in my life my hair was doing something other than afro frizz.
Like, there MAY be a coil in my hair pattern yet! You know, I think you might be making a lot of assumptions. I have always worn my curls loosely. I tried to expose her to black culture so that she would see that those styles are beautiful. I have told her she can either go get her hair professionally dreaded, cut it off, or take care of it. So she does the minimum. Maybe you should just be okay with the fact that some people are more relaxed about their hair. Basic coming and not shampooing everyday is understandable, but some people just prefer a natural look.
One thing I hate is feeling like black women are judging me about my daughters hair. Again, if her hair is healthy and happy, great. But then, lets say you find out she has a blood disorder which makes her incredibly protein and iron deficient, and she MUST eat both animal and plant sources of both in order to not be exhausted and sickly ALL the time at best, hospitalized at worst.
Do you let her continue on her merry, vegan sickly way? Do you force feed her animal and stick to your vegan diet righteously? Do you start eating meat WITH her, make it a lifestyle change for you both? Likely though you said one of the other two options. I mean, its not that hard to maintain her hair. It could be lots of things. I dunno, I mean again, At a glance alone unhealthy unhappy hair and scalp is noticeable to me. Whether that hair is styled or not at the time is irrelevant.
But lots of people have and will continue to judge. Maybe the white mom has more appreciation for natural black hair, as is,than does the black mother which is sad. Maybe what you think looks a mess another mother thinks looks adorable. Natural black hair is no more a frizzy, dry, hard untamed mess than natural white hair is an oily, greasy, stringy, staticky, flakey scalped mess. As a white mother of two beautiful mixed raced daughters I feel the need to correct you regarding your ignorance. When my oldest daughter was born, I was just as panicked as you seem to be about my daughters hair.
I spent months learning about pink lotion regular and light , blue grease, brown gel and hair food. Washed my daughters hair only once a week and then slathered it in cholesterol. Spent an enormous amount of time every single day coming and parting her hair had to train those perfectly straight parts!
Also spent hundreds of dollars on professional braiding because dammit! But then I had my second mixed race child…. I know longer had the energy to smack her with the comb after her weekly shampoo to mak sure I got every inch of her hair with grease or food…. I would rather spend the day flying a kite at the park then having her run up the steps to get the hot comb…. I preferred a happy, nappy headed child with a clean scalp helping me make cookies than the smell of a goddamn perm and a crying baby in my kitchen. I would rather spend the day teaching my daughter math, so she can pay someone to do her hair, then worrying about what YOU think her hair should look like.
Hope your daughters braiding skills are on point…. Just off the bat. You are actually incredibly racist, or at least your commentary is. I kinda feel a bit dirty after reading your comment and responding to it instead of just deleting it. You kinda make my skin crawl. As a black woman, half black, quarter black, whatever…. But for you to be OK with your daughter not knowing or understanding her own natural hair texture, how to make it soft and manageable, how to coax out the curl pattern by the magic or moisturizing, either because you bathe it in chemicals or just leave it to be frizzy and rough and untamed until one or both of them hates their hair SO much that they just wanna be you and go get a weave….
I must have misunderstood you. Because that seriously made me sick. Usually I am maybe sarcastic, a bit quippy. I really hope I misunderstood you cause…. This whole thing drives me crazy!!! My daughter, who is about to turn 21 was raised very well. I taught her about being kind and generous, loving all living things, and never accepting that she was beneath anyone, but that she was not above anyone either.
Because her father lost his life in a car accident when she was six, and the distance, she was around mostly my family. Nor have I done her any huge disservice because I put her hair in pigtails and not cornrows. I think you need to realize that your opinion is ONLY that!! My beautiful daughter is happy, healthy, smart and most importantly a kind human being. According to you, she should have been so traumatized from the lack of importance I placed on her hair are routine….
Never once did I say or intimate you must style your hair like a black person. I would love to know exactly what like a black person means though. I would also like to know why the quotes around black and white. Being kind and generous and loving of all things really had nothing to do with this post one way or another. A few seasons ago, Merideth and Derrick adopt Zola, a toddler from Africa. And they are super awesome parents, love her to death.
And then they have this episode where Derrick keeps getting dirty looks from his close friends, coworkers etc every time he brings his daughter to daycare. And so he is taught by Bailey how to do a little something something with his daughters hair. Children learn about their own self concepts beginning at home.
I was taught that every aspect of me was beautiful and perfect, and I learned how to care for, and cherish every aspect of me. Sure, she can talk all about her character and her thoughts and feelings. Can she address aspects to her physical appearance and stand tall when confronting attacks on her appearance? From the pictures it appears that you are trying to communicate that slicked or braided hairstyles are the only appropriate ones and soft, curly pigtails are sloppy. I had that misunderstanding.
I always combed and moisturizer my daughters hair when she was younger but then never braided or slicked it back. I put it up in soft ponytails or let it free. It often looked like the pictures you posted as bad hair care examples. I have several pictures of my friends daughters hair where her hair is in anything from the little afro puffs to the GIANT huge afro, to being left completely out and moist to bring out the curl pattern, to the little pig tails and ponytails.
Yes there are also a few pictures of her wither her hair entirely cornrowed, or where her mom cornrowed or single braided a few braids. There are a LOT of pictures of properly cared for hair in this post, and 3 of not so cared for looking. Who never really let it be optional anyway but who later was ok with letter her do, despite still not letting anybody else near her head. Her hair is white textured, though incredibly thick and curly, and so it would tangle horribly, and easily and was painful to comb and she has a tender head.
But nobody noticed and treated her hair accordingly. I would suggest perhaps you look into the Max Hydration Method, or the Conditioner Only washing method. And it really works. But eventually, you basically have no or little tangle anyway, even after a full day. In fact, I make my own chia seed gel, conditioners, shampoos etc now, and my hair loves me for it. Do you have a suggestion for my daughters hair taste? She has beautiful hair but she hates it. Any ideas for that? Honestly, I totally get it, especially if she goes to a school that is not predominantly white that was my school experience as well, so I can relate.
Sure, you want her to love and embrace her natural hair in its natural state. Growing pains can be difficult, but I found in my experience, and in discussions with some friends, that the reason by and large we aspired to erase our own hairs natural tendencies is because we could NOT get it to NOT frizz, NOT matte up, NOT tangle, NOT get rough or dry, and we had NO idea that our hair actually had a curl pattern to it, at all. We were so wrongly misinformed that that biracial girl who had the perfect silky long straight or wavy curly hair was lucky and had nice hair.
Added to this, many of us were looking solely at the hair itself, and not at how our faces looked IN the super flat, super thin looking style we were so desperate to have for most of us, it was not the greatest look. Kids are impressionable, but they can be influenced by the right kind of images, and luckily nowadays there are actually stars and models who have all kinds of hair styles and textures, and skin tones to match.
Generally, if you can get her hair to Max Hydration,not only will her hair be super cooperative, soft and manageable, with a beautiful natural hair curl pattern can range anywhere from a wave to a tiny kinky coil — and yes, even if it only looks frizzy, there is actually a curl in there. Look up Max Hydration Method. I lived 30 years thinking I simply had frizzy kinky hair, no curl. Sorry, I got a bit off track. Knowing that she can actually get that ultimate straight style she dreams of for an important upcoming date, like a semi formal or grad etc, might be the motivation she needs to put some full out dedication into loving the process of achieving and maintaining healthy natural hair.
And whatever length she gets will look far thinner and raggedy. So as I said earlier though, kids are impressionable. Also important is to find out the why. What she desires is far less important than why she desires it. In the first case, the goal would be to show her how she can keep healthy and cuddle and baby her natural hair to achieve the long thick and healthy hair of Star A.
In the second case, it might be about finding someone who has the hair of star B but maybe looks quite the more unattractive for it, to illustrate how the hair needs to suit you, and that beautiful comes from the person and the package, not from one particular kind of hair. And, if you ever have the opportunity, sometimes seeing is believing. If she is like me and went to school and lives in a neighborhood with primarily white people, and is friends with primarily white people, it can be hard to see yourself as anything other than less than your peers.
Hers is like polar opposite of the ideals! Exposing her to real world examples where her hair is the norm and the desires to change from peers are things that are actually achievable might be just the confidence boost she needs. If she is desiring the flat white ponytail, it could also be due to teasing or put downs from some mean kids about her natural hair. Sure, you could point out the other non white races that have and embrace thick and curly hair, brazillian, armenian, Egyptian are a few that come to mind, but really the damage needs to be done from the inside in these kinds of cases.
So, knowing her top ten favorite music, TV, and movie stars helps. Look them up, see what fashions they are trending. Or, she tries out a suggestion you make about styling. You know, I was thinking it looked kinda like the so and so look. Or whatever friend you know is crazy about style, fashion, etc. By listening, responding, opening up yourself and treading lightly, you can usually piece the puzzle together. You may wanna go mom mode on what she tells you, but seriously refrain. Communication and trust will shut down and never open if she feels like the secondo she does there are basically consequences that turn her into a crybaby rat.
Like I said, I may be totally off base, but I took a few educated guesses based on common issues. Thank you for the help. If you are willing I would like to talk it through a little more. She has definitely been raised mostly around white or Latin American girls we lived in Honduras 3 yrs and I think she mostly wants to hide her hair. She has received strange commentary before one ignorant village girl in Honduras asked if she had a disease because of her hair.
For the most part though I think her friends would love it if she let her hair free. I think she wants to hide it. She definitely wants it to grow longer, but she fights me on doing a regular deep conditioning. I make her do it at least once a month and she keeps it brushed and moist the rest of the time. Next year she will be going to an artsy middle school. She loves Gabby Douglas, the black gymnast who won the Gold all around in the Olympics last year. But she has short hair that she wears always straightened in a ponytail.
My daughter is much more on the black side with skin color and hair texture. I wish I could post a picture. I feel she would do best with puff ball looks. She should let it be big. She tries to shrink it down into pins and buns. We live in Portland OR. Also we use mostly argon oil and coconut oil products? Ok yes, that all helps SO much actually, definitely gives much needed perspective to kind of focus on on some key issues here.
First, just because it was the first thing to pop out at me and have me have flash backs to my childhood. Sometimes I let them. They thought their comments were SO complementary, but really it mostly made me feel like a puppy being petted lol. So in that case unfortunately the attention and admiration from my peers probably did more harm than good. I actually did a post way back when on it, but the website was called blackpeopleloveus. And the ridiculous ridicule and negativity when God forbid her hair shows a little ethnicity.
Your daughters hair sounds a lot like mine actually. I still totally love the look, but as a sometimes thing, and with updated hair care. Ok, now into the products we go. If you are using pre formulated products, check the labels. If olive oil or coconut oil or argan oil is not one of the top 3 products, or five to PUSH it, it has little to none of it in there. If the first 3 ingredients includes petroleum, paraffin or silicone, no matter what other ingredients it has in it it will not be as moisturizing as it claims to be. Now I wanna provide this info for any other readers following along so I will do some here, but if you want to email me through the contact us section I can send you some valuable links and help you figure some of this stuff out on your daughters hair specifically.
Yout can drink as many cokes as you want and still be parched…nothing rehydrate you the way water will right? Well, the same thing goes for the hair cuticle. Water is hydrating to it. This goes for any hair type, by the way. You suck water out of the hair shaft, it gets tangled and split and breaks and is dull and lifeless. Now, you can think about two factors regarding water and the hair shaft. One is how easily moisture penetrates into it. The other is how effectively the shaft retains, or keeps in, the moisture once it gets it. This factor is called porosity.
But they still can play a very important role. Oils dont so much penetrate the shaft, as to sit on thesurface of the shaft to seal it, either by effectively sealing in moisture and or by sealing rough edges caused by raised hair cuticles or splits in the shaft. The sebum travels down the shaft of the hair to coat and protect it, helping to seal moisture in and help keep moisture from escaping. The straighter your hair is, the quicker and easier this process is. But now, get to kinky, coily hair, and think about the millions of loops each hair shaft has, and how far the sebum has to go and how many turns it has to make to make it down the hair shaft.
Adding to this complication is that each of those turns in the shaft can be thought of as a point of weakness on all other counts. So, from that perspective then it explains why something like heavier, thicker oil like coconut oil sits like a grease slick on baby fine straight hair because it already has enough, or maybe even more than enough natural oil production on its own and why an incredibly light, breathable oil like argan can be ok. Different oils have different properties, some are heavier and more sealing or protective, some do have a tad more moist qualities, some are lighter and great at adding shine without weighing you down etc.
This will allow the hair to dry out, even as it looks pretty. Coconut oil will definitely seal in moisture but it will also seal moisture out, meaning in order for it to be at its most effective it needs to be layered on top of something aqua heavy. All 3 give zero moisture, but they add a super thick coat that is never going away completely without harsh sulphites and clarifying shampoos, which strip your hair bare of any and all moisture both added AND natural. They are perfect in their little box. Meaning no new air can get in. Eventually the oxygen runs out.
Then the coma patient flushes a little more. Silicone is the air tight box. Your hair strand is the coma patient. Until you strip all that buildup off, no moisture is really getting to your hair, and nothing you do can stop the damage from the suffocating dessicating hair trapped within. This is good news because it means you can use the angle that the good hair care part is gonna lead to the long hair that is gonna lead to the style she likes, PLUS can lead to special occasions with long, pressed out hair.
The key is to show her some of these videos of what girls can achieve in a year or under, just regular everyday girls like her, just by treating their hair kindly the way it loves. First thing I would do is check out the labels on your products, toss out anything that is paraffin or petroleum or silicone based. Number 4 is to engage in one good day of clarification for her hair I used a basic clarifying shampoo, and then I did a baking soda rinse followed by an apple cider vinegar rinse Braggs brand is totally awesome.
Now, started this on a long weekend, so I had 4 days in total to just commit to doing my hair, and getting it on a good path. Because the next step is the best step, to me. After rinsing the mask out well, I followed with the hair still damp with my current oil mix of choice on the hair only, twisted it into sections to keep the moist in, then went to sleep.
The difference already after that one day. By the time I got to day 4, I actually had honest to god coils. My hair is actually curly! I know how hard it is to be different. But I think that different is only difficult when in your own mind your differentness is synonymous with lesser than, inferiority. No she can never have bone straight natural hair. BUT she can have long thick gorgeous hair that is healthy and manageable and that those girls with the bone straight but thin hair can be envious of.
I really think that it would be a great angle to try with her. May also help her feel less insecure. I hope I made some kind of sense! What is so offensive? To white moms or even black moms of biracial kids: There was a bit about making sure that your biracial child develops a strong proud identity based on both races and cultures that YOU as a parent will have to expose them to. But seriously, someone needs to point out exactly, I mean verbatim, what was so offensive. All these negative comments are interpretations of what these readers THOUGHT was being said about braids or cornrows or unkempt hair…but I feel like people must be reading with their insecurity glasses again.
Actually READ the post. But what she knows is…. I am a white mother. And I will admit I was scared…er.. But clearly I acknowledged a difference because I knew her hair would be different. I did the same thing I did when I was scared…. I read, practiced, practiced more, got advice, tips, feedback…and more importantly…. Because even when things are scary or new…they can be challenging and adventurous. There will be routines my daughter will have to do that I dont do with my hair.
Just like her daddy who shaves his head does something different with his… We should all want our babies to have healthy hair…styled unstyled in braids in a box with a fox so to speak. Get out of your own way long enough to read the post for what it is: Black hair is different from white hair, and requires different care. Black hair must be layed flat, tamed SMH; sounds like a bunch of foolishness to me. Why not braids or twist outs? When I first wrote this post, I did not know how to do a cornrow or french braid… but I learned! Once she started elementary school, it became necessary to keep her curls protected during the week.
So mama did what mamas do and I figured it out. Now she pretty much lives in protective styles and braids. More coming on mixed girl hairstyles soon! Should we straighten her hair?: A chemical process to remove the curl pattern from her hair indefinitely? Not with my money. This sweet baby is growing up and finally had her first curly haircut at 7 years-old. Read to find out what we learned about hair… and ourselves.
How about the curly boys? Check out our some of our favorite Curly Haircut for Boys!
- Beyond Belief in the Land of Rhythm;
- Culture and Customs of Greece (Cultures and Customs of the World)!
- !
Also, learn exactly what to say to your barber to get this adorable Curly Faux Hawk! My opinion on hair is as much about self esteem and cultural identity as it is about creating a […]. What can I do to help her hair to grow? When did you started with all the treatments for your daughters hair? Hi Vanessa, My daughter is 16 months old. I noticed the other day that she is starting to itch her head. Her hair is a lot like your daughters hair. It gets so frizzy and most of the time all I do is wet it down and put it in a ponytail on top!
But I know she has beautiful curls! Could you give me some pointers? My mom is African American my father Is White. My mom was in your shoes as to not knowing what to do. She used different products and some worked most failed. It took a long time and a lot of misguided attempts with different products for me to get a good routine.
A must have for Detangling. If you want to put her hair in pony tails a brush is good but for just letting the curls reign free NO brush is needed. NO need to drench her hair with the oil. This gives her scalp a healthy dose of GOOD oils that is not only safe for baby but great for her hair as well. I say let it sit for a couple minutes this could be done prior she can run and play while you wait. Unless she has more hair then an adult once should be just fine..
Ater a good wash,and while still wet. Condtion, I would go for a nickle dollop maybe a slight bit more depending on how much hair she has. Enough to where you can kinda see it but its not heavily drenched. Make four little loose pony tails if it helps Take one section at a time,HOLD THE TOP near the roots and starting at the bottom of the section comb the tangles out moving to the top of the section as you go. The Wide tooth comb and the conditioner should make this process slightly less painful for you and her.
Section one is done.. However, some frown upon this and like to wash out…your choice. You can either let her hair air dry or use a dryer with a diffuser on low heat i recommend this because she is a little baby and could get sick. If you combine water and conditioner in the spray bottle shake to combine the next morning instead of going back through that whole process or if shes being extra fussy you can spray her hair with the combination just enough to revive the curls, if her hair is thick, lift and spray…and let her go.
I really thank you for this. I have a daughter and I am often confused with what to do with her hair. I am now learning how to do it myself. It is defiantly an learning curve for me. Your daughter will grow up to know her daddy took the time to care for her. This is fantastic advise my niece is biracial and her hair I swear is near impossible.
My hair is blonde very very thin and straight as straight can be!!! You make absolute perfect sense that I have been trying to figure out for 5 years now! I liked your idea of mixing conditioner and water in a bottle. School bus comes early in the morning and I need to be able to add some quick moisture without combing it out each morning have been starting to comb it out at night.
Anyways I am saving your comments and will be hopefully incorporating them into our routine. COCOnut oil works best im a 15 year old biracial teen that tends to get dry scalp for harsh winters and coconut oil and tea tree oil is magical!! I am so happy I finally found your site. I am taking care of my 6 year old niece, who is bi-racial. Her mom, my niece is white and her dad is African american. She loves to have her hair up in a bun and always tells me she wants straight hair. They only do this because it is so much easier on them. Thank you for this blog on fixing hair.
I wash her hair and then use conditioner, as well as a leave in conditioner and use a wide tooth comb. I also use a de-tangler. Thanks so much for all your advise…. I may get this right eventually and then no more beads….. I am caring for my grand daughter for the next school year and she is 5. What is the difference between Shampooing and Co-Washing? I am realizing that shampooing every other day is still too much even for the summer.
Hi Pam, A co-wash is the idea of washing hair without stripping it of its moisture. The whole squeaky clean thing is not what you want with curly, mixed hair. You now find co-wash products that help keep hair clean, but adding back moisture too. Even with co-washes, try to limit them as much as possible. Hope this helps, and enjoy your granddaughter this summer! I like it for a few reasons. First, the price point is awesome. Thank you… My email is brittanyparker yahoo. Hi Brittany, did you read my original post that this one is linked to?
It should answer most of these questions. If not, send me a note via the contact form. Just found this site and I love it! Thank you so much! I had not found another site or resource that was as helpful in helping me highlight her beautiful curls. I really need some guidance on this and tips to help it grow into the healthy hair it has potential to be. So after reading this.. And then I was just using a kids mousse afterwards. Definitely going to get some products got her tomorrow. I have two little boys with spiral curls. Thanks to you, I learned I was using way too little conditioner and setting them up for failure by not continuously adding it throughout the week.
I also bought the Ouidad double comb and the tangle teezer- both or which have helped tremendously in combination with your procedure. We literally went from 2 hours of detangling to just 15 minutes! I just came across your blog and am in desperate need of your help!
FAQs: How To Manage Curly Biracial Hair (Updated 2018)
In the past year, it has started to grow completely straight through the crown. He wears his hair long but now the straight part is driving me nuts and hanging over his curls into his eyes. I now realize that it may be due to my improper care. Could the brush be the problem? Our kids are mixed, so their hair might be too. My girl has really loose curls at the top, and extremely tight curls underneath. Lose the brush and condition his hair. Use silicone hair ties, like the ones I shared on this mixed race hair post. Keep hair up and away from the constant rubbing on scarves, big jackets, beanies etc.
Playing with your hair can become a bad habit if its prone to break, etc. I was reading this because I was curious about what other people did with bi-racial hair I am bi-racial, my mom is white and my dad is black. Both of my parents and my aunts did this, that and everything. My hair would only grow so long and it was always frizzy. In that time I learned there are still a lot of misconceptions about bi-racial hair. First of all, frizz is not always caused by a lack of moisture. I realized that when my hair looked frizzy it needed to be washed.
Second, that my head was itchy because my scalp was dry and I should use product to combat that. Especially those leave in conditioners! I used to use very little shampoo and leave my conditioner in because my hair looked tame but I realized that those products were hurting the overall health of my hair and scalp. Third, that washing my hair everyday would led to frizz and itch. This is absolutely wrong. I realized this when I started running everyday.
I was so afraid to wash my hair after, but I was more worried about smelling bad. This is when I realized that washing my hair was not evil and actually that it was starting to look better. Fourth, that it can only grow so long. After I abandoned those products and got my hair trimmed regularly I realized my hair can be pretty long. If I want my hair to curl less shrink then I wash it and put it in a french braid. Just one or two braids while I sleep. I do agree that going to bed with a wet head is no big deal. I brush my hair.
My routine has become so much simpler after I learned these things. I wash and condition my hair and rinse! I towel it dry and put it in a braid. I wake up the morning let the braid out and go! I do straighten my hair occasionally. I let it air dry over night. The I use a straightener and it takes about minutes my hair goes to bra strap when straight. Other than that, I get it trimmed every 8 weeks. Now my favorite thing is to go to a new salon I used to dread them and cry because the hair stylist always always!
A lot of them have even asked me what my secret is. My secret is that I realized that hair is hair. Hi Jessica, this is awesome! Thanks so much for the thorough comment! In the meantime, we co-wash inbetween big washes. I hope my daughter can feel as empowered with her tresses as you do one day. Her hair just started going through this texture change. She wants to wear her hair down like her friends at school, and i feel so bad!! It has helped me out a lot! I need some tips on dry hair though. I have two daughters and their both half Caucasian and half African American.
One has curly hair that is the texture of my hair white girl hair lol. M y other daughters hair is more of the African American texture and it always seems so dry. Have you tried using oils or masques? I make sure she drinks a ton of water and an experimenting with different remedies now. It took me awhile to actually embrace my curls.. Straighteners were my best friend during middle school: I am biracial but much more white than african american.
My hair is about a 3B curl. Medium The texture of it is super fine like I have seen on some blond people, but very curly. It drives me crazy when I wash and condition it. It is like it has a Jekyl and Hyde personality. It goes limp and loses all of the curl if I condition just a little too much or is super dry and crispy on the ends if I do not condition or wash it well enough. It also behaves differently in Summer than in Winter.
In Summer if I do not wash it every day very well, it is greasy by noon. I guess I need help with chooses the right hair care products and proper cleansing regime. I also use a curling iron to re-curl it into a style that works with my cut. It is layered Help! Hi ya, I have a beautiful 1 yr old daughter.
Is she sleeping on a satin pillowcase? It could very well be that her hair is still super short, but making sure her hair is hydrated each morning will go a long way. Also, at 1 year old, her texture can be changing. My mother is white, my father black. I have spent the entirety of my childhood and teen years trying to figure out what works on my hair. When I was very young 6 or so my mom started with relaxers on my hair making it completely straight. When I got into high school I cut it all off because I wanted to go back to my natural hair and my mom talked me into putting texturizers in my hair she had no idea what she was doing.
No I am 21 and have not put any chemical treatments in my hair in 3 or so months. I am extremely self conscious about my hair because I was teased many times throughout school because of it even obtaining the nickname bush through junior high. I have been reading your posts and I see some wonderful ideas but my question is do you think if maybe I cut all my hair off and start completely over it will help.
That being said, as a young adult, know that you are NOT your hair! Whether you cut it off or not, aiming to be healthy is the ultimate goal. So my question to you is, do YOU think cutting it off will help your self esteem be healthy? There are TONS of awesome, short hair styles out there right now… so ya, chop it!
Slowly letting your hair grow out and caring for it is also a great option and honestly, probably the route I would take. There is nothing wrong with either one. This has been by far the number 1 place that has actually helped me with my nieces hair. She however has very very different hair my hair is as straight as straight can be and very very thin. Her mom has medium thickness and wavy hair, her dad African American. Please help me on how to even distinguish any curls instead of sheepish like hair.
I am at a loss as to what to do in the mornings with her hair! She gets a bath every Sunday and Thursday. I wash her hair with African Pride Dream Kids detangle miracle line and leave it in for about mins to let it do its ling, then I rinse it out and add the same brand conditioner. I apply enough so it covers all of her hair then I start the lovely task of combing out the knots.
Once I am done and her hair is smooth, I wet my hands and run it through her hair to get the extra conditioner out and leave the rest to moisturize her hair. After I get her out and dressed, she has the most beautiful and soft ringlets!! I absolutely love them!!
I let her hair air dry then she goes to bed. But then the next morning I am faced with a big ball of frizz and knots! Idk what to do, I am so lost! I use detangler spray to get the ringlets back but she has a good amount of my hair and it makes her hair oily and heavy. Thank You, Thank you, Thank you for this article. I think i combed her hair in under 5 minutes last nite and with zero tears.
Not only was it easy to comb through but her curls were so dropped compared to before when they would shrivel up after washing and brushing. I am still working on the curl management in between washings and trying to get as much moisture in the curls each day. But this is a work in progress. The 19 year old has hair that is long and curly in the back and wavy in the front. She has never been chemically straightened. Her hair is washed about every three weeks. She likes the Shea Moisture curl enhancing shampoo and conditioner. Her hair tangles when wet.
To keep the hair moist while detangling and styling we spray with distilled water. A wide tooth comb is used for detangling. When she is wearing her hair in twist outs she washes and conditions and then applies olive oil to the hair before twisting. She re twists every other night and wears a satin bonnet. When she wears her hair straight she uses the Shea Moisture blow out cream and Biosilk Silk therapy. She also wraps her hair each night using a vent brush and satin scarf. For the 2 year old. She has long hair that is dry and curly hair.
Her hair is washed once a week. Her hair is normally tangle free. However, when it needs to be washed it starts to tangle and becomes even dryer. We use the Eden Jojoba Monoi shampoo and conditioner. The hair is sprayed with distilled water to keep it moist. I oil her scalp with Jamaican Black Castor oil and apply olive oil and Liv Hair cream to the hair only not the scalp. Then brush with the Denman brush.
The castor oil stinks but it is amazing on her dry hair. I then twist or braid her hair every other night. She wears puffs from time to time. But, I make sure to twist or braid at night. This helps keep in the moisture. What I have learned. Hair can be different even when children share the same parents. You have to find a routine that works best for the hair you are taking care of.