Overcoming Disabilities Despair: 9 steps for talking away what's getting you down [Michael D LeBow Ph.D.] on leondumoulin.nl *FREE* shipping on qualifying.
Table of contents
- MOODJUICE - Anger Problems - Self-help Guide
- The “Normal” Responses to These Obstacles
- Are You Feeling Suicidal?
- Upcoming Events
Our interpretation and thoughts about a situation can result in an angry outburst. Especially how we perceive the intentions of other people and the potential consequences to ourselves. Situations in which we feel wronged in some way can be particularly difficult. Also where an injustice has been done that we feel is unacceptable. Our understanding of anger may also influence our reaction. Our beliefs about anger can change the way that we express or control our anger. For example, if we consider that anger must be expressed and not 'bottled up'.
We may not have considered making attempts to manage emotions in a more appropriate and sensitive way. You might find it difficult to sit with and tolerate frustration.
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This may be due to your social experiences. Also, what you have come to consider as being normal and acceptable behaviour. You may not have had opportunities to learn effective ways of managing and expressing emotions. A pattern of angry behaviour can build up. This can become more and more difficult to overcome. I am entitled to certain things I must stand up for myself I cannot tolerate frustration About Others: Everyone's out to get me No one else is on my side Someone else is always to blame About Anger: I have to express my frustration It's not good to hold back this strong emotion.
Predicting the future Catastrophising What if? When people are worried about something it is common for them to spend a lot of time ruminating. You can end up thinking about the future and predicting what might go wrong.
MOODJUICE - Anger Problems - Self-help Guide
This is instead of just letting things be. You might blow things out of proportion, or come to expect a catastrophe. What if they laugh at me? What if I lose all respect? When people are feeling emotionally vulnerable, it is likely that they take things to heart and become more sensitive to what people say. They can often make assumptions about why someone said something, beign overly quick to draw conclusions, and thinking that they are the focus of what has been said.
The “Normal” Responses to These Obstacles
They did that on purpose. They must think I'm stupid. Often people can ignore the positive aspects of life or their situation. Instead you may focus on negative elements. This style of thinking stops us feeling good about ourselves. It can lower your confidence. Despite that person letting me out he is now right at my bumper.
My kids are a nightmare, nevermind how nicely they played with each other earlier. Sometimes people only see things as black or white, with no grey area or in-between. Having this polarised view can lead some people into setting themselves impossibly high standards, being overly critical and struggling to recognise any achievement due to their perfectionism. That was a complete waste of time.
They must hate me. I should always get full marks. Based on one isolated incident you might assume that other events will follow a similar pattern in the future. You might find it hard to see a negative event as a one-off. This can also mean that you label yourself, often unkindly, which can lower your mood and confidence, perhaps even leading to feelings of hopelessness. Failing my driving test means I'll fail at everything. The neighbour's dog snarled at me, all dogs are vicious! Someone looks over at you when your out with friends.
Now you can challenge your unhelpful thoughts by asking these questions. Is there any evidence that contradicts this thought? Can you identify any of the patterns of unhelpful thinking described earlier? What would you say to a friend who had this thought in a similar situation? There's no point in predicting why that person looked over. There is no reason to think that it means that they were judging me. Try to apply these questions to the unhelpful thoughts that you notice. It can help to improve your mood and help you to manage your angry feelings.
You can use this technique to test your thoughts are realistic and balanced. Work out a stable breathing rhythm. Perhaps try to breathe in for three seconds, hold this breathe for two seconds, and then breathe out for three seconds. It can be helpful to count as you do this e. Repeat this action for a few minutes. You should soon begin to feel more relaxed. If you were feeling dizzy then this should also get better after a few minutes.
Find somewhere comfortable and quiet where you won't be interrupted. You can either sit or lie down to practice this exercise. Begin by focusing on your breathing. Try to have a slow and comfortable pace. You could use the controlled breathing technique described earlier.
Do this for a few minutes to prepare for the muscular relaxation exercise. Try to tense each muscle group for around five seconds. Don't tense the muscle too tight. Focus on the sensations that this brings. Then relax your muscles for a similar length of time, and again, focus on how this feels. Then move onto the next muscle group.
Try to remember to keep your breathing at a comfortable pace throughout. Below are some suggestions of muscle groups that you may wish to work through: Legs - point your toes and tense your muscles as if you were trying to stand up. Stomach - tense your stomach muscles. Arms - make fists and tense your muscles as if you were trying to lift something. Shoulders - shrug your shoulders.
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Lift them up towards your ears. Face - make a frowning expression. Squeeze your eyes shut and screw up your nose. It can be helpful to spend a few minutes just lying quietly in a relaxed state. See if you can notice any tension in your body and try to relax it. Otherwise, just let the tension be. If your mind wanders, try to bring your concentration back to your breathing. Finally, count down silently and slowly: See if it's possible to carry that relaxed feeling into whatever you do next.
Try to list every way that you can think to overcome your problem. Don't worry about how unrealistic an idea seems. Write down anything and everything. The best solutions are likely to be the ones you think of yourself. This is because nobody really knows your situation as well as you do. It may help to consider: How you might have solved similar problems in the past. What your friends or family would advise. How you would like to see yourself tackling the problem. Next you need to select the best solution from your list.
Think carefully about each option.
Are You Feeling Suicidal?
It is useful to go through all the reasons 'for' and 'against' each idea. This will help you to make a good decision and select the best solution. After this you may find that you are still unsure. Perhaps a couple of approaches seem equally good. Try to pick one to begin with. If it doesn't work then you can always go back and try out a different one later. To help you carry out your chosen solution, it can be useful to break it down into smaller steps. This can make it easier and more manageable to follow through.
The number of steps required will vary depending on the solution and how complex it is. Someone with debt may have decided to try and resolve their problem by getting a part time job. This would require several steps. Buying a newspaper with job adverts. Choosing which jobs to apply for. Sending out their CV. Preparing answers to potential interview questions. Follow the steps required to carry out your solution.
Simply take them one at a time. Go at your own pace and don't allow yourself to feel too rushed. Once you have completed all the steps, you should then review the outcome. If you have successfully resolved your problem then great.
Upcoming Events
October is National Depression Screening Month. One in 10 Americans struggles with depression. A common misconception about depression is that it is something people can just "snap out of. While depression can be serious, it is far from hopeless. There are effective treatments and actions people can take to overcome this disorder.
There are certain truths about depression that are important to understand, as we target this debilitating disorder that often spans generations. As I've mentioned above, it's important for friends and relatives of those struggling to understand that people who suffer from depression can't just feel better. People experiencing a major depression really need professional treatment.
According to the American Psychological Association APA , psychotherapy can benefit depressed individuals by helping them uncover the life problems that contribute to their depression, identify the destructive thinking that makes them feel hopeless, explore the behaviors that exacerbate their depression and regain a sense of pleasure in their lives. In what's been referred to in the field of psychology as "the greening of depression," younger people are reporting increased levels of stress and depression.
According to the Federal Center for Mental Health Services, " depression affects as many as one in every 33 children and one in eight adolescents.
As I highlighted in my recent blog " Depression in Mothers ," babies born to women who struggled with depression while pregnant have "higher levels of stress hormones Studies have shown promising results to early intervention among school-age children who showcased symptoms of depression.
There are a lot of great treatments out there that have proven effective for dealing with depression. Research by psychologist Mark Williams, co-author of The Mindful Way Through Depression , has shown that mindfulness-based cognitive therapy MBCT can have a positive effect on preventing relapse in recovered depressed patients.
His research indicates that if you teach people with recurrent depression mindfulness skills , such as meditation and breathing exercises, it reduces their chances of having another depressive episode. Mindfulness practices don't change our feelings or thoughts, but they do change our relationship to our feelings and thoughts. This enables a person who has a tendency toward depression to not get swept up in the thoughts and feelings that contribute to his or her depression. Another way mindfulness skills can benefit people struggling with depression is by helping them to be better able to regulate and tolerate emotion.
Often, one strong emotion behind depression is anger.
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Anger can be a hard emotion to deal with, but it is actually a natural human reaction to frustration. Getting angry may seem like it would only make you feel worse, but when you don't deal with anger directly, you tend to turn it on yourself. It is important to allow yourself the freedom to fully feel your feelings, but at the same time, to control yourself from acting them out in any way that is harmful.
You can recognize and accept your anger in a healthy way that releases the emotion without allowing it to fester or be turned into an attack on yourself. We all have an inner critic, what my father, psychologist Dr. Robert Firestone , refers to as your " critical inner voice. It may be feeding them a distorted commentary on their lives: You are too fat to leave the house.
You are so stupid. No one will ever love you. You aren't capable of being happy. You will never succeed at anything.